Flapjack Records is joystick jackin with:
Corduroy Mavericks – “Boogie Snacks EP”
B1. Video Games
B2. Get Up & Dance
Flapjack Records is very pleased with the return of bourbon country’s finest brewmeisters the Corduroy Mavericks. When asked about their music, they only had this to say. “We like our music like we like our coffee: hot and full of whiskey.” This time around they have expanded their repertoire from not only high octane brown booze, but have ventured into the realm of snack making with their “Boogie Snacks EP”.
With their first attempt at full flavor face stuffing madness, they developed a spicy little number called “Reprezent”. Strangely enough, no one is sure what it represents other than a booty shaking nastiness, and leaves you with a nasty case of the shakes yourself. It may be a result of all the added MSG.
“Stay” is the kind of snack that all men are looking for. Just as the name suggests it gives you the extra long lasting “staying” power that some lack after years of partying and house music abuse. If you don’t want to lead a lonely life, then munch down on these snack and enjoy staying with a nice lady friend.
Their third attempt has achieved massively “high” ratings on the snackitude chart. “Video Games” is the perfect compliment for those one hand on the controller, one hand in the feed bag nights, afternoons, early morning, or all of the above. Those who fancy not leaving the “house” while absorbed in a gaming orgy can certainly more than sustain life digging on some “Video Games” .
The last snack in the pack speaks of times when people actually got that feeling that made them get up and move around in odd gyrating patterns. “Get Up & Dance” has this same strange influence on people. Similar in composition to the popular bad breath wreaking morsels called Combos, the hard outer shell packs a nice crack while the smooth n salty innards really make your ass do some strange shit in and out of the dance floor and bathroom. So if you are feeling hungry for some of that flavor that your sets may be lacking, fill up your bag with the “Boogie Snacks EP” by Corduroy Mavericks. It could be the next best thing since Tim Tams & Tang.
Flapjack Records is locked and loaded with:
“The Mau5 That Jack Killed”
D. Mo Mo Wet
Flapjack Records has a problem. When you have a problem like this in your kitchen, you need to call the right guy for the job. So returning to the roster, not to create, but to kill, is our crushing companion from Vancouver, Kid Vibe. He shows up just as the Board of Health has left the building closed until further notice due to a growing rodent problem. Considering the circumstances, it is in our best hopes that “The Mau5 That Jack Killed” will devastate the current population and render the quarantined area a place where delicious booty shakin’ breakfast beats can be concocted once again.
The first step in this kind of situation is to cover the entire perimeter with some “Notorious Child”. I heard the military used to use this to melt and clear dense jungle during warfare, but due to overwhelmingly horrible side effects in humans, it is now used strictly for rodent removal and in the manufacturing of the street drugs known as bath salts oddly enough. One spray of this and you will be jackin’ like a zombie naked in Florida.
The next step is to sprinkle some “Notorious Child (Ghetto Bump Mix)” about the place. If the first step doesn’t take them pesky fur burgers out, then a coating of this will get explosive all up in their junk. In the past this substance was originally used as a table salt substitute until people started rising from the dead and eating peoples fucking faces off. This is some serious salami here, and should hopefully take care of those little shits.
“Bring The Bump” should only be used as a last ditch effort. According to the box, this actually has the same ingredients as most over the counter cough medicine. I heard that it was originally and accidentally discovered in a motel room a guy cooking meth and a hooker. It turns out the hooker farted which scared the cook into spilling a little red bull into his beaker causing a chemical reaction so intense that both of their clothes were immediately burned off and they started eating each others’ faces.
So when everything is said and done, and the problems seems to be solved, as a future precautionary measure it is good to leave behind some “Mo Mo Wet” to eliminate any stragglers. This tune is like a super catchy glue trap, but if you sniff it or eat it, you will most likely have the urge to rip all your clothes off and eat peoples’ faces off. So just a word to the wise….if you want to clean up on the dance floor, “The Mau5 That Jack Killed” is the product for you. Just be sure to follow the directions on the box or you will end up starting an unintentional zombie apocalypse.
The second official single of 2012 from Pendulum drummer and exemplary solo producer KJ Sawka, “Run and Hide” highlights the spectacular vocal performance of LaMeduza and combines it with KJ’s characteristically variable rhythms and phenomenally dynamic drum orchestration. His excellent skill as an EDM drummer plays a massive role in his spectacular beat-construction, and his considerable exposure to to some of the most highly-lauded music in the industry has certainly left a powerful mark. You can’t run, you can’t hide, and there is absolutely no escape from utterly captivating sonic strokes of KJ SAWKA.
Flapjack Records strapped n ready for:
Francis Jilla – “These Boots Are Made For Jackin’ EP”
On this next vinyl edition from Flapjack Records, we take a minute to recognize a time in U.S. history when alcohol was made illegal. This time was called prohibition and was a very sad time for casual drinkers, but an amazingly profitable time for bootleggers and underground party goers. This theme fits right in with this straight out of the toilet distilled dance record from house music recluse Francis Jilla. “These Boots Are Made For Jackin’ EP” is the brand that underground house goers trust most to get fired up, while other moonshiners bring in the least.
Be careful when handling “Walking On A Beam”. This joint is almost pure grain alcohol and is so hot that if you even think about lighting a match near it, it will most likely give you permanent orange afro. This is the firewater that many a native chief will resort to when the winds of change have dealt a nasty crop dusting. This tune has been famed from the movie “Hall Pass” which doesn’t quite give it the justice it deserves quite like a gigantic tub, toilet, or function 1 sound system will for distilling purposes.
Now if you are thinking bottom of the barrel mash but with a little class, then grab a flask full of “Bumped Up Kicks”. This will have you whistling Dixie in your underwear faster than you can say skibbidybibbidy. Don’t let yourself get too involved with this and the local booze hounds though, or you’ll be howling up the wrong tree eating a face full of knuckles. Tis a good sing a long though, and will remind you of better times after you realize you just pissed in the same toilet you distill moonshine in.
“Dreams” is of classic taste and texture. It’s not quite top shelf moonshine, but a touch above jailhouse toilet tonic if you ask me. This is definitely something you can share with you lady friends and not be ashamed that you haven’t bathed in a few days. Let the music roll off your tongue and cover up any bad breath you may be hoarding and you may just get a kiss, or a slap on the jaw. What did you expect? You are drinking liquor made in the shitter.
So never mind all that jibber jabber, because what’s really important is how you wear it. Francis Jilla – “The Boots Are Made For Jackin’ EP” is pure bootleg grade smoothness. It will smooth over any crowd, and set fire to just about any room, or any object for that matter with its uberpotency. Don’t underestimate the raw power of bootleg booze. As they say, this shit will put hair on your chest and rip it off all in one smooth motion. You have been warned, now go ahead and give it a swig, I dare ya.
This 12″ vinyl release is now available at the following locations:
Flapjack Records is salted and cured with:
Forrest Avery & Derty D
“Put Bacon On It”
- A. Forrest Avery & Derty D – I Love House Music
- B. Forrest Avery & Derty D – The Perfect Beat
- C. Forrest Avery & Derty D – I’m A Dream
- D. Forrest Avery – Driftin’ On By
Flapjack Records has definitely been eating in a bacon wonderland. With this digital release turning 30, the old arteries just don’t know how much more of this thick ass house music they can take. Just when things are getting nice n warmed up jackin to some tasty cured jams, your heart just starts flopping and jumping like a fat kid climbing a fence. So with one hand on the speed dial ready for an ambulance, Forrest Avery & Derty D roll on up and sprinkle some of their new EP, “Put Bacon On It”, all over and cure what ails ya.
“I Love House Music” pretty much squeaks for itself. This thinly sliced piece of salty goodness just slides right down your gullet with a greasy easiness akin to something as easy as breathing, or farting. This cut is a finely cured production that releases unbelievable taste on the dance floor and compliments anything a DJ can dish out.
Returning for seconds is Forrest Avery & Derty D’s famed cut “The Perfect Beat”. When you have something as good as this in abundance it’s just plain rude not to share. So make sure to grab seconds, thirds, and even sixths of this crispy vocal bomb. Every single bite of this cut just makes your sets phatter, but makes the crowd sweaty and out of breath instead of you.
“I’m A Dream” is bacon heaven. If there is a gate to get into heaven, then it will sure be made of bacon, and as you walk through it, not only will all your ailments disappear, but they will most likely be playing this tune. If they aren’t, then you are probably at the wrong gate and should turn around and head back before you end up in one of those eternal anguish and suffering type situations. It could be worse, you could drop your last cut of bacon behind the stove.
Lastly, Forrest Avery finishes off the EP with a special treat called “Driftin’ On By”. This is a sure fire vocal blast that can be freeze dried, stored for a millennia, even shot up into space, and still taste absolutely amazing. Time tested and colon approved, if you can’t get down on this, then you need to get yourself a colonoscopy. So don’t worry so much about what your doctor says, cuz they all say the same thing. Just “Put Bacon On It” as Forrest Avery & Derty D do, and everything will be just fine.
This release is now available digitally at the following locations:
Gaining notoriety as the drummer for Pendulum, KJ Sawka is one of the industries premier electronic music rummers, in addition to being a consummate producer with his own musical vision and project. Mixing his talents to construct powerfully moving, mystical bass music with absolutely incredible percussion, KJ pushes the envelope with every track he creates, constantly challenging boundaries and pushing his own abilities to the very limit. This is exactly what he does in “Repeating Cycles”, featuring the gorgeous vocals of LaMeduza, a beautiful vocal dubstep banger with fast-paced, technical drums and a deep, moving progression.
Flapjack Records gets more than its fill of:
Flapjack Records Presents
“The Roadside Diner Collection”
- A. Michael R Jr. – You Can’t Hide
- B. Richard Loughlin – This Party
- C. JD Mals – Little Pixy
- D. Zurlock – Iazzz
Flapjack Records has definitely been around the block and back when it comes to upsetting stomachs and dance floors for that matter. This next addition to the Flapjack digital catalog is a super phat grease stain of a compilation. This EP is the kind of musical stain that will never come out and is a tribute to all the greasy spoon diner meals that many DJ’s have had to endure whilst on the road. Flapjack is proud to present “The Roadside Diner Collection”. Ironically, none of the artists on this EP are from the U.S., so I don’t think they even know of the tummy rumbling wonders of this American roadside tradition.
You Can’t Hide from this track. This is a play on the many time over sampled traditional eggs n bacon on toast with black coffee special that is a timeless classic at all roadside diners. The great thing is this was cooked up by a rookie 17 year old short order cook from Poland named Michael R Jr. Trained in the musical fruits on the 1’s n 2’s by his father, he sets his sights on the underground with a gut wrenching vengeance.
Richard Loughlin of Manchester, UK has been bussing tables at this grease spot for over 15 years now. It’s about time he crunched out “This Party”between cleaning the urine puke stained booth in Bessie’s section, and the four fat ass truckers 3 foot high dish pile from this morning. The tune really slams the dishes good making everyone in the place lift their heads from their coffee and morning paper.
Over here we have our new waiter JD Mals working a double shift. He has been pushing the fish and his joint “Little Pixy” as it is about to turn. This is an updated swing number that pushes the envelope of drinking the milk well past the expiration date on the carton. It’s as solid as the skillet pan in the kitchen and just as hot too.
On your way out, don’t forget to tip and then chat up the host Zurlock for some complimentary Andes candies. His English is a little hard to understand being that he is fresh off the boat from Genova, but he knows how to seat people according to the rotation. Also have a grab at his funked up jazz jam“Iazzz” sitting on the newsstand. It is sure to be a captivating read, and be sure to check the local want ads in the back. You will definitely find a way to get rid of that old toaster oven and get you a couple bucks. Thanks for stopping by and I hope y’all enjoyed you some of “The Roadside Diner Collection”.
This release is available digitally now exclusively at the following locations:
Flapjack Records has been well preserved for:
That Peruvian Boy – “I Came To Jam EP”
The bowels of Flapjack Records are very excited and relieved to push That Peruvian Boy out onto some vinyl. What a relief! This new EP is so phat that we thought it might have required a trip to the hospital. There is no enema strong enough to work this hot piece out. This would require some dance floor surgery. “I Cam To Jam EP” is like the signature dish of Peru and works like magic on the dance floor as well as your taste buds. Here are the simple ingredients that make such an explosive experience:
The main squeeze is a carefully stir fired and flambed “Don’t You Know”. This is the filet mignon of EP that is succulent, fat, and juicy in all respects. The beats are hoppin, the bass is deep, and the hook is something you want to sink your teeth into over and over again. The tune is so pleasing to the ear buds that it will make even the sternest of vegans want to bite.
Next thing you need to do is toss in some “Love We Feel” for some intense flavor. Sautee these in the mix for that added muster of groove. This is the ingredient that makes the leap from a good mix to a great dish. Don’t be sparing with this tune either. Plenty of this will add flavor like a calculator in math class.
“The Jive” is like that miracle vegetable that makes the base for everything. It’s the tune you will want in every mix for the next year. Once you are familiar with this ingredient, without it, your mix, your dish, and your life in general won’t feel as complete. It’s the difference between whether you brush your teeth before bed. You either wake up fresh or you don’t. Your mix will end up the same way, so just be smart and practice good hygiene.
The last ingredient is the sugar and spice of the dish. “Gangsta Slam” really turns out this EP and makes this signature dish amazing. This tune is no garnish. Even though it is the last tune on the EP, it will most likely end up as the first tune in many mixes. The vocal hook and break down push this track to the brink or your taste buds. It’s got that flavor that is just as amazing as the first time you taste, every single time. It’s the added spice that completes That Peruvian Boy‘s masterpiece and first vinyl release “I Came To Jam EP”.